Reflections of an Undercover Black Girl from San FranciscoPosted in Articles, Identity Development/Psychology, Media Archive, United Kingdom on 2014-05-08 00:44Z by Steven |
Reflections of an Undercover Black Girl from San Francisco
50 Shades of Black: Sexuality and Skin Tone in the Formation of Identity
2014-05-07
Stacy Jethroe
My skin is tan. My hair is wavy. In Nina Simone’s “Four Women” I might be considered a Saffonia, though my father was neither rich nor white.
As a child living in a 1970’s San Francisco, I looked exactly like what I was: a nappy-headed mixed child. Born to a fair-skinned, Caucasian mother and a medium-toned Black/Italian/Cherokee father, I have been told I look Brazilian or Cape Verdean or just Plain Ol’ Regular White Girl. As I aged, my skin naturally lightened and my hair relaxed of its own accord.
At the age of nine, I moved to the Midwest. I wasn’t exactly Black or White or what was easily recognized, and my racial backstory became a constant topic. As a nappy-headed mixed child in San Francisco, I never lied about my ethnicity; there was no need for it. But, living in the Midwest, even my maternal grandmother held issue with my color; she lied to protect herself against the judgment she believed would be passed by others and, I believe, her own loathing of her non-White grandchild. Following suit, I began to tell the same lie. I hated the curliness of my hair and spent hours each day straightening it, trying to look White. White is right…right? I don’t believe that now, but I believed it then…
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